Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
