The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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