would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
did you just send me my own nude
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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