no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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