I smell stomach acid.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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