What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
do herpes really smell.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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