so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
North Korea, Best Korea!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
