It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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