your parents love me but you hate me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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