I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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