Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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