I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on