Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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