I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
