We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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