this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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