He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
