I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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