I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
