we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
