Someone shit on the floor
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
