i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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