That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What a dumb baby whore.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
