i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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