Heybabeimwearingurpanties
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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