Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
