Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize