Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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