If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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