Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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