god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It was like giving head to a cactus.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
