Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude i'm inner monologue high
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
