Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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