apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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