Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize