so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
