what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
