I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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