How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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