69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
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SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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