Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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