I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
