That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
