girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
