OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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