Non-Jews are for practice
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
