How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize