just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
how does that bad decision feel?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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