when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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