Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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