Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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