i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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