My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
