so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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