I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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