I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
